Being Blamed...

*Sigh*... have u ever been blame by someone for something that you have not done... or something that went wrong but it's just not your fault.... or something just happen during ur absence and being ignored by your colleague but it just went all wrong just on the first day when you are back onto the work...

Started my Vascular rotation... Always been interested in Surgery and putting up my hope real high about getting into it... wanting to get involved in all those sophisticated surgical skills that i yet to master... so much expectation... so much hope to have such a good time... Previous houseofficer who have done surgery posting gave good feedback about surgery but, they have straightaway rolled their eyes once i mentioned i am going into vascular surgery and wished me good luck... so ya i did enter the rotation with some reserves in mind...

Enoxoparin not prescribed to post op patients after two days in hospital while i am away starts to develop symptoms very much suggestive of PE... turned out to be my fault because i am suppose to telepath such reminder to my colleague while i was away ??

Acute Pulmonary Oedema being missed by two of my Registrars during ward round, turned out to be my fault as well when my role during the ward round was just to write down whatever they said in less than 10 seconds...

and not being able to attend theatre to assist in operation turned out to be my fault as well when my team has 35 patients that need to be seen daily and looked after... when the other team have less than 10 patient shared between 3 of them...

Inaccurate fluid balance recorded by the staff nurse turned out to be my fault again... because i was supposed to make sure i have eyes on everyone back to make sure everyone in the ward do their work properly...

Deranged U&E which being left by my fellow team mates for 3 days without doing anything... turned out to be my fault tooo when patient deteriorate...

what else ..!!! this is madness!!!

this is enough!!!!! No MORE!!!! I NEED TO TAKE CONTROL... Never before ever I felt like not going to work the next day.... well... guess i have to carry on!!! Jia you lo!!!